


I trembled

by peacepen



Series: Wittenberg Time [7]
Category: Hamlet - All Media Types, Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: Asshole Hamlet, Bad men - Freeform, Bisexual Hamlet, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Horatio is mentioned, Just putting it in the collection with my other Hamlet shit., M/M, Not a part of the main verse, Obligatory language of flowers Ophelia fit, Unrequited Love, after sex - Freeform, sex ment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27792700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacepen/pseuds/peacepen
Summary: Hamlet’s devotion was beyond her reach, but she could perhaps obtain some pockets of peace. A few moments of content closeness, to quiet the daisies in her veins.
Relationships: Hamlet/Horatio (Hamlet), Hamlet/Ophelia (Hamlet)
Series: Wittenberg Time [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1329284
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	I trembled

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively titled: "But I'm a pretty bad lover, and I'll probably be a dead beat dad" from Dave Malloy's Ghost Quartet 
> 
> Brief descriptions of the flower meanings in the end notes. Not beta read ofc 
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://techiegremlin.tumblr.com)

She studies him. Takes in every moment she can, feasts her eyes on the rise and fall of his chest. Although she’s always payed him special attention, it feels much more urgent now. Like if she doesn’t catalog every detail of Hamlet, when he slips away she will be left with nothing. She creates a detailed mental picture of his naked form, sweaty next to her in bed. She should probably be a little more relaxed after sex, but it’s not like she actually came. She wasn’t sure if Hamlet just didn’t know how to please her, or if he just didn’t care. ( _ Except she knew one was more likely than the other, so she left it as it was.) _ The pleasure in sex with Hamlet was about  _ his  _ happiness. She was happy to have him in her arms, trusting her. It made her heart burst to see him satisfied. She ran a gentle hand through the hair stuck to his forehead. He frowned and scooched away from the touch. 

“I wish you would let me be tender with you.” 

He scooched further away and did not turn to look at her. “You know I don’t like it, Phe. It’s nothing personal.” 

“But Horatio can touch you like that.” 

“It’s different.” 

“How?” She became more charged, more angry. How was Horatio allowed to love him more than she was, when she laid with him like this? She gave him everything, all for him, but she wasn’t allowed to be close with him? “How is it different? How is he more privileged than I am when I let you do  _ whatever you want?”  _

“It’s just too much, if we get close like that. I can’t take it from you, this can’t be...this can’t be…  _ that. _ ” He waved his hand, sitting up. He searched the comforter for his shirt. 

“This can’t be what? A real relationship with an emotional connection?” 

“Exactly!” 

She scoffed. “You are absolutely ridiculous. Don’t you see that? You.. You’re taking advantage of me.” She ruffles the blankets as she rises, chasing after him although he hasn’t left the bed. 

Hamlet doesn’t say anything. Of course he wouldn’t, this conversation isn’t what he wants, it’s not a part of their cum and go routine. 

“It’s just… I get nothing. You can’t even compromise a little. You don’t love me and I love you more than anything.” 

“That’s not true, Phe. You know I love you.” 

“You don’t. Not in the way  _ I want. _ ” It’s more than a want for her, but she doesn’t say it. She needs him to stay, to open up. Everytime he sneaks into her rooms a softness blooms in her heart. It’s roses and primrose and carnations. She  _ needs  _ him to feed it, to shelter that love. If only he stayed longer, whispered soft words into her ear as she clung to him tightly, it would be safe. 

She’d settle for something in between. Hamlet’s devotion was beyond her reach, but she could perhaps obtain some pockets of peace. A few moments of content closeness, to quiet the daisies in her veins. She knows those minutes would mean virtually nothing to him, eventually he would flee her sheets to share his less carnal passions with Horatio. But it’s the best she can hope for. 

“I don’t understand why you’re trying to change things, we’re happy, aren’t we?” He asks, but he still won’t look at her. 

“Maybe you are.” She says, not meaning for all of the snark to slip out. 

He finally turns to look at her. He seems so confused by her sadness. He can’t imagine how their pleasures have brought her such grief and she thinks he never will. Perhaps it is better to say nothing, and let him be happy. If she continues to push this, she’ll lose even these moments with him. Her heart couldn’t stand it. 

“Ophelia, you are my dearest friend…” He trails off, what more can he say? It hurts. She invites him into her bed, in between her legs and into her core. And she is still a friend. What more can she give? She has nothing left. 

“I’m your friend, who would give you the world on a silver platter if she could.” She agrees. “But he is your lover.” The admission brings her anemones. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going in depth lol sorry.  
> Roses, Primrose and Carnations - Good love, the kind of returned and passionate love Ophelia wants from Hamlet 
> 
> Daisies - There's a lot here. It's Ophelia's innocent longing love for him, but Daisies are also connected to fertility so it's a bit of a nod to how much she wants from their relationship. The daisies in her veins crave she couple so well and even have a family with a man who cannot love her. 
> 
> Anemones - Fragility, Forsaken love - Tied to the myth of Adonis


End file.
